


all the lonely nights in your life

by hangyulgod



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Drabble, Implied Relationships, Implied Romance, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, M/M, could be read as platonic tho, hui best leader, idk stream basquiat, shinwon best boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25011646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hangyulgod/pseuds/hangyulgod
Summary: “hyung, what do jinho-hyung and hyojong and yananie have that i don’t?”title fromall the lonely nights in your lifeby american pleasure club.
Relationships: Ko Shinwon/Lee Hwitaek | Hui
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	all the lonely nights in your life

**Author's Note:**

> ive stanned pentagon for a while now and ive always wanted to write something for them — seeing how hard hwitaek works during rtk inspired .. whatever this is lol anyways stream basquiat
> 
> also !! the romance is like vvvvvvv implied so like if u want to read it as like idk family bonding that’s okay too<3
> 
> oh btw this is not proofread + english is not my first language so be nice pls or i’ll cry>:(

“it hurts,” hwitaek says, nods at the computer. it’s way past midnight. the screen is bright in the studio, their new song is in the making. 

shinwon watches as the older clicks around, bits of their new song coming together and all comforting words die on his tongue. he doesn’t respond.

“i miss him,” hwitaek says, his eyes still on the screen as he drags around an audio clip, tests out a new synth sound.

“who?” the younger asks. he feels stupid. he should know better.

“jinho-hyung. hyojong. yanan. i miss them all,” the smaller says, so nonchalant that you’d think he’s talking about the weather. 

“oh,” shinwon swallows, and again he doesn’t know what to say. “jinho-hyung will be back. yanan will be, too.” they both know his last statement isn’t entirely true. 

“i’ll be gone when jinho’s back, though,” hwitaek says, and he turns to the younger, “what do you think about this bit? should i add anything more?”

shinwon blinks when a snippet of their new song plays through the speaker. the older’s words are still ringing in his head, but he shakes them away and listens to the song. it sounds good. like every other song hwitaek writes with his blood, sweat and tears.

“sounds good, hyung,” the taller answers, but then realises that maybe, what the other needs is constructive criticism (which he is incapable of giving), and adds, “but i’m not wooseok or hyunggu — sounds good to me, anyways.”

hwitaek finally turns from the screen to look at him, his freshly bleached hair hanging over his eyes. “i asked for  _ your _ opinion, shinwon-ah. i don’t see wooseok or hyunggu. if it sounds good to you, i bet it sounds good to everyone else.”

shinwon gulps. “oh.”

tiredly curling his lips into a barely-there smile, the smaller turns back to his computer. shinwon peers over his shoulders to look at the time — 2:14 am, barely suppresses a yawn.

“if you’re tired, you can go back to the dorm, shinwon-ah. you don’t need to look out for me. hyung’s an adult,” hwitaek speaks up, not looking away from the screen. shinwon thinks about how the older would spend hours working locked up in his studio but also would almost always give in and go back to the dorms when hyojong or yanan or jinho tells him to, and now he feels like shit because he can’t even take care of their leader right.

“hyung, what do jinho-hyung and hyojong and yananie have that i don’t?” he can’t stop himself from asking, and he immediately feels even worse.

hwitaek pauses for a moment, halts from his work. he doesn’t turn to the younger, still, “you’re not—”

_ “enough?”  _ shinwon hears his voice crack, and now he feels the worst he ever had. why did he even ask that stupid question? he knows he isn’t enough. he never has been.

he thinks about hyojong, how he and hwitaek were attached to the hip, how he knew the leader like he knew himself. thinks about yanan, who is so unbelievably strong and beautiful that no one dares to not love him, who hwitaek — and their whole team — refuses to stop fighting for. thinks about jinho, who hwitaek relies on and tells all his troubles to, who takes care of and dotes over the leader when no one else does. shinwon can never be like them.

he remembers when hyojong left the group and moved out of the dorms hwitaek spent a whole month crying, curled into his sheets, eyes swollen, and when he wasn’t at the dorm he would be locked up in his studio and come out with still swollen eyes. shinwon wonders if he would be able to stop those tears if he, too, wasn’t busy sulking on his own.

he remembers when yanan facetimed the group before jinho left for the military and hwitaek locked himself in the studio right after they had the call, and he doesn’t return back to the dorms until late at night and his eyes were swollen and the younger just  _ knows  _ he’s been crying again. shinwon wonders if he would be brave enough to knock on the older’s door and tell him that it’s okay if he wasn’t so much of a coward.

he remembers when jinho left for the military, hwitaek, on the rare instances he would actually sleep instead of working his youth away, would go to the maknaes’ dorms where their oldest’s room was and fall asleep curled up in jinho’s bed instead of his own in the hyungs’ dorm. and when he finally gets a phone call from jinho who’s miles away in a military camp somewhere, he tells him that. jinho pauses for all but two seconds before sighing, “hwitaekie’s working very hard, isn’t he. take care of him for me, shinwon-ah.” shinwon wonders if he is capable of doing that, if he can take care of hwitaek as well as jinho does.

and when he thinks about it,  _ really  _ thinks about it, he realises that his answers are  _ no, no  _ and  _ no.  _ he knows he isn’t enough. he never will be.

but then hwitaek speaks up after what it felt like a century, “you’re not  _ them _ . you’re shinwon, aren’t you?”

shinwon knows better than anyone else that he will never be them. never be as close as hyojong was to hwitaek, never as deserving of love as yanan is, never as loving as jinho is. he doesn’t need hwitaek to remind him.

and then the older turns to him, looks him in the eye through his bleached hair. “but don’t ever think that you aren’t enough, shinwon-ah. you’re more than enough. always will be.”

shinwon wasn’t expecting that, and all words dry on the tip of his tongue. he feels like crying when there’s no reason to.

hwitaek smiles at him, eyes crinkling into crescent moons and sparkling like night sky stars. “don’t worry yourself too much, shinwonie. it’s hyung’s job to worry.”

“no it isn’t,” shinwon is quick to argue, “you should relax a little bit. you’ve worked your ass off.”

“i can take it,” the older assures him, “i know my limits.”

“do you,” the taller mutters under his breath, “it’s almost three in the morning and you’re still here.”

“so are you,” hwitaek shoots back. he’s no longer looking at the screen but at him, eyes ever-so-kind and loving. 

for once, shinwon thinks that maybe he’s enough, too.

“i’m only here because i gotta make sure you don’t work yourself to death, hui-hyung.”

the older laughs, throwing his head back. he turns back around, clicks save and closes the file. “okay, okay. let’s head back to the dorms, yeah?”

“okay.”

they stand up, and hwitaek stretches, blinking and rubbing his eyes. shinwon follows him out the studio and watches as the older locks the door.

as they walk towards the lifts, though, shinwon doesn’t feel like a coward for once, so he calls after the older man, “hyung.”

hwitaek stops, turns to him and hums in responses. there’s a lazy smile on his face.

and before he can regret it, shinwon leans down and presses his lips to the older’s cheekbone. barely there, feather-light.

“you worked hard, hyung,” he says, so close that he is certain hwitaek can  _ feel  _ every word.

the smaller doesn’t move away, doesn’t back off. he smiles up at him, leans up and presses a kiss onto the taller’s jaw. barely there, feather-light.

“you worked hard too, shinwonie.”

and then hwitaek turns around again, this time reaching for shinwon’s hand and intertwining their fingers. he doesn’t let go, not until they’re back into the comfort of their own dorms.

that night, hwitaek falls asleep curled up in shinwon’s bed, an arm around the taller. and that night, shinwon finally realises that he’s enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> stream [basquiat](https://youtu.be/Cdx2PSqZoPY)  
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.qa/minsgyul)


End file.
